ugh, those feelings again.

Now and then, we ask ourselves, “why am I so unhappy?”

Unhappiness comes in many shades of grey. maybe fifty… ;) — but sometimes people just lack joy.

What then makes you unhappy? Is emotional darkness your own choice? Or are life circumstances beyond your control? That’s up to you to decide but I’ll tell you this, constant happiness is overrated. Maybe unachievable too… Don’t read that the wrong way; I’m simply telling you the law of happiness which states that expecting to be constantly happy is harmful. Everybody’s mood fluctuates as you have ups, downs and a widening range of emotions.

If you expect yourself to be constantly happy, emotions like anger, sadness, frustration, feel bad and you find yourself judging your decision to feel it. When in reality, you need to process the difficult things that happen to accept other emotions.

Now, there are three helpful steps to changing your situation. Not helping you become happy but changing your situation.

The first step is the Starting Point. The truth about this stage that no one ever covers enough is *drumrolls* Life Is Challenging. No self-help community can prepare you enough for what you will face. You will need a lot of optimism, hope and well, more hope. It also helps you realize that your desire is not finite. Achieving one goal doesn’t take you to a place of perfect happiness instead it brings new desires and obstacles.

The Starting Point brings you to exactly that — the starting point. It brings you to the firm platform of reality. Life is challenging and no amount of positive thinking or goal-setting can change that. This isn’t a good or bad thing. It just is.

The Problem is the second step. Often times, the problem is the gap between who you want to be and who you are today.

This is a very common phase. It involves envy, isolation, doubt as well as anger. Don’t shy away. I know you sometimes don’t mean it that way but just wish you’ll be as better as your sibling or friend or just think you deserve as much as they’re getting, even more. I understand.

This step is realizing that although a gap exists between who you want to be and who you are, it’s okay. It doesn’t mean that you are less than you are or you’ve failed as a person.

I’m super aware of each and every shortcoming in me. I fuss over every small mistake I make. I forget to remind myself that everybody has shortcomings. And it’s human to make mistakes.

Also, I’m not saying that you stop working towards your dream or that you stop trying to become a better human being. I’m only suggesting that you start this journey with a sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

Step three issssssssss *drags the s for as long as I can hold my breath* The Solution. The solution is simply being provided with tools for building a happy life. The tools are hustling and acceptance.

Hustling is the brute force approach to happiness: You take massive amounts of action and leave no stone unturned as you chase your dreams.

And it works.

If you are consistently putting in the time and effort, you’ll probably get what you are after.

That's how you achieve your original goals. As humans, we then begin to acquire more desires, more challenges. This is where acceptance comes in.

Acceptance is the exact opposite of hustling. Acceptance doesn’t need reality to change in any way. What is, is.

Acceptance is also the gateway to gratitude. You start to slow down and cherish what you already have.

Acceptance also lets you see that not all goals are worth pursuing.

The solution, then, is a mix of hustling and acceptance. I still chase my desires. At the same time, I know that achievement and happiness are two separate things.

For my happiness, I depend on acceptance and gratitude.

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If you made it this far, Thank you. I totally understand that we all have different experiences, so if what I wrote doesn't sit with you, I hope you find the information you need soon.